I'm home sick with both my kiddos today. Luckily it's a relatively mild cold, but my kids are 7 & 10 so keeping them home to rest unfortunately doesn't mean there is anything actually "restful" happening! For someone who gets easily overwhelmed and overstimulated, trying to rest and recuperate myself while having to parent two active kiddos (AND it's still a workday for me), a day like this can be really challenging. When the kids get a little stir crazy, it can be easy to feel frustrated and I'll often notice myself quickly traveling the path towards my wits' end. For me this is not only frustrating, but also scary, as my chronic illness can cause overwhelm and overstimulation to quickly spiral into headaches and vertigo.

It can feel impossible to stay connected to my inner calm during times like this, when I just feel like I'm putting out little fires every five minutes, but it's really important to me that I try, and because of that I've I've learned to rely on several techniques that help bring me back to my center - I call them my touch points. Here are my five main touch points that help me ground myself in the moment when life gets chaotic...

1) Feel my feet

For me, one of the easiest entry points into my mindfulness practice is to simply feel the sensation of my feet rooting down into whatever my soles are touching. Whether it's the floor, the gas pedal in the car, or even just the texture of the socks I'm wearing, noticing the soles of my feet instantly brings me out of my busy (sometimes panicky or overwhelmed) mind and into my body. It reminds me that I am rooted to the earth, and directing my attention to the part of my body that is physically farthest from my mind is kind of like taking myself by the shoulders and giving myself a little shake - it's like saying to myself "Hey! Get out of your head and notice what's happening in your body!"

2) Notice my breath

The breath, the breath, the breath. Noticing the breath is truly the simplest and often most effective pause we can take. The simple act of moving my awareness to my inhales and my exhales goes so far to helping me feel grounded and move out of that "fight or flight" nervous system state when I'm feeling scattered or frustrated. I often notice that when I first bring my attention to my breath, it is shallow and feels restricted - surefire signs that my nervous system needs some settling :) After taking even 30 seconds to focus on my breath, I notice my inhales start to slow and deepen, and my exhales start to lengthen - I often find myself yawning or sighing too, which I have learned are ways my body lets go of stress and mental tension!

3) Release physical tension

I have always held my stress in my shoulders, neck, and jaw, and left unchecked this tension can build up and turn into headaches or even muscle injury - I've thrown my neck out a few times after letting stress build up and then making a quick and careless head movement! Building little pauses into your day (just like we do between challenging postures or sequences in a yoga class) gives you the opportunity to notice if your jaw is clenched or your shoulders are tensed up (especially notice your trapezius muscles, which join the tops of the shoulders to the sides of your neck). From there you can take a few big sighing exhales as you work to release this tension, often coupled with some neck and shoulder rolls and jaw wiggles. As a bonus, I know that every time I pause to do this, it helps my body learn that operating with tightness in my shoulders, neck, and jaw doesn't have to be the default.

4) Place a hand on my heart

Science has found that the simple act of placing your hand on your heart can help reduce your stress levels, lower your heart rate, and start to move your nervous system into the parasympathetic state. Our sense of touch is so powerful - touch reminds us we are connected, whether with our fellow humans, or sometimes more importantly, with our inner selves. When I place my hand on my heart, it is almost always accompanied by an involuntary deep breath in and sigh out - a sign my body just needed that little bit of support in order to let go of how tightly it was trying to hold onto control in a stressful situation. The longer I keep my hand on my heart, the more I notice my shoulders soften, my breath become slower and fuller, and my demeanour calm to the point where I can relate in a loving way to whoever is in front of me, which is often my children acting like little monsters - but once I've taken this time to connect with my inner self, I can see they are really just trying their best! Placing a hand on my heart helps me remember my intention to move through the world in a kind and loving way.

5) Repeat a mantra

I have had a number of mantras over the years, that I come back to in times of stress or disconnect from myself. During scariest times of covid and my struggle with nervous system dysfunction, it was "this too shall pass" (and it did!) - other phrases to myself have included "you are strong and capable", "lead with love", and "this is the life you worked so hard for". Choosing an appropriate mantra for this season of your life can be a very helpful tool to shift your perspective when your vision starts to narrow or you get stuck in a negative mindset. If you've never used a mantra in this way before, I suggest pairing it with one or more of the other techniques above, as nervous system regulation from a mantra might not come naturally on its own at first :)

Every technique above serves the same purpose - to take you out of your overactive thinking brain (monkey mind) and move you into your calmer, inner knowing - your higher self. I will often use several of these techniques together, and I find that they usually feed into one another - feeling my feet often leads into deepening my breath, wiggling my jaw, and remembering my current mantra. From there I can place a hand on my heart and take steps towards responding to my current situation with the love and kindness that I aspire to fill my life and all my actions with.

At its root, this connection with your higher self is the goal of yoga. When you use these techniques you'll start to see that yoga isn't just about the postures we practice on our mats - yoga is about all these many little moments in our lives when we have the opportunity to take a step back out of our patterns and habituations and act in ways that honour our deeper, truer, wiser selves. I'd love to hear which of the above techniques resonates most with you, and whether you use any of these techniques when your own life becomes a little hectic - please share your experience in the comments!

Wishing you a day filled with moments of calm, even if (like for me) those calm moments are interspersed with periods of chaos :)