February is fast approaching, and with it often comes the thundering collapse of new year's resolutions - initially so full of hope, but quickly discarded as the return to routine proves that the "new year, new me" mentality isn't actually sustainable in our daily lives. Why do we tend to fail so miserably at New Year's Resolutions, and (more importantly) WHY do we keep doing this to ourselves?!

The new year is a beautiful and symbolic time of renewal and new birth. With many of us enjoying time off from work and regular routines over the winter holidays, we find there is the time and space to reflect on the previous year and notice if anything hasn't felt in line with how we'd like to be living our lives. Some of these reflections come from a deep understanding of our needs on a physical and emotional level, and some of them come from our cultural conditioning or our society's pressure to become "better" at life (meaning, pressure to fit in with what is considered successful - high achieving, thin/fit, organized, perfectly put together, etcetera ad nauseum). But resolutions tend to set you up for failure from the start! An infinitely better method to making changes in your life is to develop a series of heartfelt intentions, and couple them with specific, achievable goals, and then throw in maybe one resolution at the beginning of the year, just for fun!

So what is the difference between a resolution, a goal, and an intention anyway? Well, these words could potentially mean different things to different people (and are sometimes used interchangeably), but here is how I utilize them:

RESOLUTIONS

A resolution is, by definition, something you "resolve" to do. For example, you may "resolve" to go to the gym every day, or stop biting your nails, or stop spending money on frivolous things. However, with a resolution, there is typically no emphasis made on putting a plan in place that will help you actually complete your resolution, which is where the problem lies.

Resolutions tend to be highly aspirational and very strict (eg, "I will *insert resolution here* every single day", or alternatively, "I will never again *insert bad habit here*") which is why they often feel overwhelming and unachievable. Think about it - you go from indulging every whim that occurs to your holiday-hazed brain the whole week before the new year, no idea what day it is, eating endless amounts of chocolate and holiday dinner leftovers, to suddenly going for a 5km run every day, or to drastically cutting back on your beloved screentime? That is a recipe for failure my friend - no wonder we're chucking those resolutions out before January even ends!

I like to use resolutions more as a single challenge that I can give myself in a year, and then remember to give myself grace if I don't complete the challenge perfectly - one year I resolved to avoid getting any disposable coffee cups (and I pretty much succeeded, save for maybe two times when I was rushed out of the house in the morning and desperate for a coffee!)

You can have fun with your resolution, and make it a low-risk challenge for yourself - choose a resolution that you can avoid attaching your self-worth to. I might even suggest holding off on setting a resolution until you've had time to go through the process of setting your intentions and goals for the year... see below to find out why!

INTENTIONS

On the surface, an intention may seem to be something vague and unhelpful, but they're actually a very important first step to ensuring that your actions are aligning with your life in a way that deeply resonates for you. Intentions ask you to get quiet with yourself, and then ask the question, "how do I want to be / feel / act / live" and really listen for what your body is telling you.

Intentions are often set at the beginning of a yoga practice after we have taken time to come into our bodies and our breath for precisely this reason - you'll be able to tune into what your actual needs are in that moment, rather than feeling outside pressures about what you *should* be doing during your practice.

Intentions can be vague, and that's ok! Maybe you want to focus more on positivity in your life, so you set that as an intention. You might bring this intention to mind during your yoga practice, and focus on what you love about your body while holding a challenging posture, instead of focusing on what's frustrating you about it. Or you might bring your intention to mind while you brush your teeth, and smile at yourself in the mirror instead of running through your to-do list in your head like you usually do. So even without a specific plan in place, just by the nature of creating and reminding yourself of your intention, you're already finding opportunities to focus more on positivity!

Intentions can be set for pretty much anything - you may sit with yourself and realize you are often feeling quite agitated or anxious throughout your day, and so you could set an intention to bring more calm into your life. Or you may realize you are feeling slow and sluggish for much of your day, and you might choose to set an intention to nourish yourself and move your body more. Taking the time to determine and set your intentions will allow you to then move towards setting goals that are relevant to how you actually want to feel and be in your body and your life.

GOALS

A goal is where we need to get detailed. You could think about it this way: We build awareness to know where we are, we create intentions when we decide which direction we want to travel in, and we use goals to take us where we want to go. Goals should be measurable and achievable, and the more you break them down, the better chance you have at following through on them! I suggest you take some time, grab your planner, notebook, or create an excel spreadsheet, and hone in on your intentions until you can draw out a few concrete things you'd like to execute.

Let's go back to the example before of feeling slow and sluggish - maybe you've set the intentions to prioritize better nourishment and find opportunities to move your body. So here's where we get specific. What does it mean to you to nourish yourself? We all know that vegetables are good for you, so perhaps you decide you'd like to move towards a more plant-forward way of eating.

Your 2023 goal could then be to make 80% of your meals whole foods / plant-based by the end of the year. But how do we get there? Break your year down into sections (some people do this on a monthly basis, some on a quarterly basis), and create smaller markers to reach on these shorter time frames, eventually building up to your end-of-the-year goal (say for example, you start by eating one meal a week plant-based, then by the summer you're eating all plant-based dinners, and so on). From there, you can create several even smaller steps that will help you get to these shorter-term goals (for example, your first step might be to chat with a naturopath, nutritionist, or dietician about how to transition to eating more plants without digestive discomfort and cravings - you could even break this task into (a) ask friends to recommend a professional they've used before, (b) book an appointment, and (c) go to the appointment and take notes).

I could continue with examples on the intention of finding opportunities to move your body (let's face it - I could talk about planning and goal-setting all day!) but I think you get the picture! Suddenly, your goals aren't these lofty ideals anymore, and your resolutions are no longer these daunting, judgmental overlords in your mind that berate you when you inevitably fall back to your old habits - instead, they have become a clear and supportive plan that nudges you gently in the direction you want to go! And when you become frustrated with this growth work, or you have a hectic week, or something jarring or unexpected happens, and you find yourself moving back into your conditioned way of being that isn't so supportive of your intentions, you can just pause, breathe, and come back to those intentions - they are your guiding light, because they are in line with your inner self.

Finally, let's come back to resolutions! Now that you've got your intentions clear in your mind and your goals broken down and planned out in front of you, you might choose just one or two resolutions that line up with your growth plan and see if you can stick to them just for fun. For example, you might try to go a whole year without buying yourself that bucket of fried chicken that just makes you feel terrible after you eat it (even if you occasionally find yourself in the drive-thru line and you only order 2 pieces of chicken - that's a win!), or you try to get outside and move your body every single day (even if you have some days where you only manage to step outside right before bed and raise and lower your arms five times - that's a win!) - even if you don't succeed in completing your resolution perfectly, I bet you'll learn a lot about yourself in the process, and when you're backed up by awareness, intention, and clearly thought out goals, you'll probably do better than you think!

One amazing opportunity that yoga provides us is the ability to look inward and take steps towards becoming our true and most embodied selves, and I think most everyone you'll meet at Kind would agree about that. So remember to take it easy on yourself, lean on your community for support, and celebrate your wins (big and small) publicly! Intentions, goals, and resolutions shouldn't be "all or nothing" and they can be approached with compassion and kindness. Finding your way into authentic growth happens one little step at a time, and we're all in this together. Namaste <3